Beauty

She only comes out at midnight. When no one is watching and no one can see, how she feels and the woman she truly is to be. She doesn't need to perform or feel pressured by others around her. It's just her, the sound of her feet, the soft cool breeze, and the open air. She's not caged in or striving to be who someone else wants her to be. Her beauty is displayed for only the moon to see. She's not pushing to achieve for others, to have them say yes, you are enough in my eyes, although you can always be better. She's not comparing, for all she sees is the unique beauty of the sun and moon and stars and each differing tree. If only she could see that in people and not compare.

She is free indeed. Her thoughts, her legs, her heart, her soul. For the first time, her true raw beauty is seen and whispered back to her. Her feet fly and her soul dances as her thoughts escape and her heart is filled. The overcast day no longer clouds her beauty, as the veil of night is revealed in the glowing moonlight. She is fully seen and fully loved. The world sees her partially and partially loves. He sees her (w)holy and (w)holy loves. Only through Him can she be (w)holy herself.

All she hears is the pounding of her feet, the life of her lungs, and the whistling of the wind sweeping up her thoughts. It is only after this emptying that she can be filled. After the silence, it is then that she hears.

12/04/06

Sleepless in Lombard

I couldn't sleep. I have gotten off my normal sleep schedule, which I think has caused this sleepless night. So I thought I'd blog. I had some things I wanted to blog about too, but I'm not as passioned for them at this wee hour of the morning. More in a reflective mood, so we'll see where this goes.

I'm a converted night owl to a morning rooster. Some days the rooster does better than others. There's something about being up at night while everyone else is asleep. Being up early in the morning just doesn't have the same affect on me. I'd rather stay up later and wake up a little later. I'm learning to do the opposite, as that can set my day all off kilter and make getting up a struggle. I love being out star gazing at night or just reflecting on my own. Some people are scared of being out at night, while I love it! I love running at night! I used to go on midnight runs with my cross country team or sometimes with my sister or dad. In college, I used to go for walks or runs around campus at night alone, before cell phones had entered my world. I even had a guy friend who offered to walk a ways behind me and just basically ignore me, so I could have my reflective solitude and still be safe. I never took him up on it. Seemed to defeat the purpose. I still go for walks or runs at night when I have friends to check in with, although I realize it's not the brightest thing.

I just love being out when the whole city is quiet and asleep. In the morning, the hub-bub begins as the city awakes and everyone starts their day. At night, it's so peaceful. From a biblical sense, people commonly think of light as good and darkness of evil. But the Lord created the day and the night. He created the sun to shine by day and the moon by night. And it was good. I think we'll have both light and darkness in heaven to display God's full beauty. The moon demonstrates light piercing through the darkness. There's something hopeful and radiant about it. About the hidden peaking through. Like rooting for the under dog. Even when I used to run, I did best finding my inner strength away from the crowds through a path in the woods, rather than running through the hype and noise of the spectators where other runners tended to excel. Words of perserverance and encouragement from teammates and family were clear in the stillness away from people. In the crowds, it was just an overwhelming wave of noise. I think similarly, I could feel God speaking to me in the stillness of the night, away from the rush hour traffic and hurriedness of the day. I wrote something about it 3 years ago now, when I was just out of school. Crazy it's been that long! I was struggling getting used to work life, which meant earlier mornings and consequently earlier nights. It seems like it should be a post all its own. So I'll put it as the next one!